Getting Rid of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

Getting Rid of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”

We all have secrets.  There are things in our past, things in our present, that we aren’t prepared to share with just anyone.  Maybe even with anyone.  We have things we’d prefer no one would ask us, and things we aren’t willing to tell.

That’s how it works for me, at least.  I know that I’ve imposed on myself a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy that’s often kept me quiet about important things related to my character and personality.  Things related to the way I love.  With the help of a close friend of mine in Second Life, I’ve started learning to become more open recently.  I’ve learned to start getting rid of my Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell agenda.  So here goes:

I am a Christian.  I am in love, head over heels in love, with the most powerful Guy in the universe.

It’s crazy to be that much in love while being so hesitant to reveal it.  But I am hesitant.  When people in my daily life ask me, “Why do you seem so happy all the time?” because they see my smile, I suddenly come up short.  I respond with something cheery like, “Happy means healthy!” or “It doesn’t cost anything to smile!” I balk, as they say in baseball.  I can’t find the nerve to say, “I’m happy because Jesus raised me from sin and death, and then He made me His.  I love Him.”

He loves me, but I don’t tell.  Mostly I don’t tell because I’m afraid the answer will make people wish they hadn’t asked.

Maybe you know this feeling.  Maybe I’m not alone in my Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell restrictions.

Becoming Honest about My Orientation

My walk in life, I’m learning, should not be a secret.  “For narrow is the gate,” Christ says in Matthew 5, “and straight is the way that leads unto life.”  I know exactly where I’m heading: I’m oriented toward the Kingdom of Heaven, and I walk a journey that ends in the arms of my Beloved.  I’m Jesus oriented.  So why is it I don’t share that more, especially when I’m asked directly by friends and family and colleagues why I live the way I live, and why I seem to have found some kind of secret joy?

It’s because I hide in a closet of my own making.  The Word of God directs me, “Sing praises to Jehovah, who dwelleth in Zion: Declare among the people his doings” (Psalms 9:11).  Yet I, frightened newlywed to the Beloved, simply sing contemporary Christian songs in my head, assuming that glorifies God enough.  I declare myself shy.  He loves me, and I don’t tell.

The Word of God directs me to be “ready always to give answer to every man that asketh you a reason concerning the hope that is in you”(1 Pet. 3:15).  Yet I, new student of the Almighty, keep the Scriptures and praises and truths I’ve learned playing happily in my head, letting few escape to reach others.  I declare myself unprepared to share.  They ask me, and I don’t tell.

The Word of God directs me, “Cry aloud and shout … for great in the midst of thee is the Holy One of Israel” (Isaiah 12:6).  Yet I, the quiet child of His love, declare myself unfit and unable to shout, and I hide behind self-pity, and assure myself that others are far more capable.  They need Him, and I don’t tell.  I don’t text, I don’t sign, I don’t lip, I don’t mime, I don’t even grunt a single utterance in admission of His love.

It’s a Matter of Equal Rights

So, when did I decide I was so special?  When did I determine that the love the Lord gives me is mine to keep inside, rather than His, for me to share?  Isn’t it my duty to tell?  Isn’t every other person on this planet equal to me – equally undeserving of His love and saving grace, equally lost and needing to be found, equally ready to be redeemed through a faith in the One I so love?

They need to hear.

I need to share.

So it’s over.  I vote now, unanimous in mind, heart, soul, and strength, to repeal all restrictions of my Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell fallacy.

Starting now, my love life is no secret.

He confesses me before the angels themselves; I shall confess Him before all men.

Ask me.  I’ll tell.

Marana Tha,

Cosmic